Oct 02 2009
The Nothing
Regret. One personal indignity many people live with, often for the rest of their lives. It’s emotional hurt resulting in some to cover over with drugs and/or alcohol, work, promiscuity, and harming themselves with cutting. They commit emotional suicide trying to shut off emotions instead of dealing with what has caused the regret. When regret is not dealt with, you cannot let go of the shame; you hold on too tight to the sin committed. You become a slave to the past event or events. Regret will emotionally eat you alive!
Have you stuffed your emotions to the point you feel nothing? Let me share with you the devistating effects of feeling nothing. Have you ever looked into the eyes of a murderer, a serial killer, or a dead person? Let me give you an example. Have you looked at the eyes of Charles Mason? Wickedness and suicide is the end result of stuffing one’s emotions to the point of feeling nothing.
How do I know this? At one time of my life, I was completely self-centered. I wanted to control my envirnment and people in my life. I knew nothing of critical thinking or problem solving. When my wishes did not come true, I threw fits of anger or I would encapcilate myself into a fantasy world where I could be in control. I soon discovered the comfort of indifference while I stuffed my feelings deep down inside myself. Nothing cannot create anything, therefore, life has no meaning. Worth and value holds no significance so a defeated attitude grows into a hate and hate of oneself leads to suicide. When I wanted to feel good, that took on an evil called pronography. Eventually, that too became the hard taskmaster demanding more and more of me until I didn’t feel human anymore. Fortunately, I did not turn to promisuity, drugs, or alcohol to deaden the pain; I didn’t feel pain or anything else. I did get to the point where I seriously contemplated suicide. Did you know suicide has a comforting lure to it? It has a sweet whisper and a becon call which intices. I even had an image of myself hanging onto a rope over a huge gapping black hole waiting for me to fall in while the rope strands above me slowly came undone to the last strand. Had that last strand broke and I fell into that black hole, I would not be here today.
What caused me to change my mind? I did not see a psychiatrist because I had read enough Phycology Today magazines to know they would put me on prescription drugs or they would put me in a mental ward. It came from the searing pain of looking at the cross. My heart had become rock hard, but the sight of the cross caused a crack in my resolve like an explosion inside my chest.
Why would a Christian symbol cause such pain? That cross represents the sacrifice Jesus Christ made with His life for mine. He bore my sins and the sins of the world on that cross. His Holy Spirit used the cross to get my attention and bring me to Himself. As the result, I committed that last glimmer of life to Him to do with it what He wanted. I let go of that broken rope of insanity and dropped right into the arms of my Savior. He then cloaked me in His love, mercy, and grace. He is the reason I am alive today and the reason I live! When this body does die, I will live eternally in the mansion He has built for me in His Father’s kingdom, Heaven, the New Jerusalem! I am right with God through His Son, Jesus Christ.
If you are where I use to be emotionally or you are getting there by choice, I want you to understand there is a hell. There is no compassion for you there. The only thing waiting for you is pain, sorrow, guilt, hate, and shame, but most of all fear that will grip you every moment for all eternity. You can deny God. You can deny there is a devil. You can deny there is a Heaven and a Hell. If all these are not real, then why are you hesitating? If you really want something that is real, ask God to reveal Himself to you. They both want you. God wants you in Heaven where there is no pain or suffering because He loves you. The devil wants you because He hates you and He wants to send you into his kingdom of torment so he can shake his fist at God using you. have read this blog, you now have a choice of where you want to end up spending eternity.
Personally, I would love to see you spend eternity in Heaven with Jesus. I hope we will meet there some day, not so I can pat myself on the back, but so we can rejoice together at the decision to live free!
That will be a blessing!
Nancy J. Rich
